Monday, October 3, 2011

Sergent Sargent's Horse Power:You Pray "Hello", I Pray "Goodbye"

Interview with Sergent Sargent, from the February 2003 issue of Toy Parlor magazine

GP: What eventually ended up on screen?

SS: A character by the name of the Soldier of Light. He did not have many overtly religious references. But looking back, it pushed the bounders for a kids show in the 80s. He was this character who was granted super powers, but instead of fighting villains. Would lecture regular folks about being immoral and worshiping false idols.

GP: Did the show get in trouble over the episode?

SS: There was some squawking from the affiliates. The problem was not with the stations themselves. But you know they sell air time to Tee Vee preachers. They kicked up some dust.

GP: What ended up happening?

SS: We took it out of rotation. It would air occasionally. I got to watch it a few years back on VHS.

GP:Was it in good condition?

SS: Yeah it was in pristine quality. Glen you might find this interesting. Overdog (Sergent Sargent's former wrestling protege) actually has every episode on tape.

You Pray Hello, I Pray Goodbye

1.

Sergent Sargent and Horse Power have been battling the Necronoids for three
hours. Aided by the Necborg known as SkeleGun, the creatures are more formidable than ever before.

They are uncertain what the point of this attack is. It is far from
Liberty Corps HQ. It seems to just be a pointless rampage in the center of town.

SkeleGun transforms his arm into a rocket launcher and fires a missile at City
Hall. Mustang using his super speed, intercepts the blast.

Sergent Sargent runs to the Green Horse Power.

"You alright kid?"

"Yeah Sarge, just a little shaken up."

Three separate squads of Necronoids have isolated Bronco, Clydesdale and
Stallion. SkeleGun transforms his shoulder into a Chain Gun and prepares to
finish Sergent Sargent and Mustang.

"Cease your villainy at once evil one!!!!"

All eyes look up to the roof of Lawnvale Bank. They see a figure in a teal
skintight armor with gold trim. He has an unusual looking gold
cape. As if it were the cloth wings of an angel. A halo of gold energy hovers above his head. SkeleGun grimaces.

"Necronoids, destroy this fool!!!!"

The Necronoids fire energy beams from their Robo Eyes at the
mysterious figure. But he leaps to the ground avoiding the deadly blast. The
Necronoids now swarm the individual. But he takes them down with the elegance
and class of a ballerina, mixed with the viciousness and power of a Bengal tiger.

Despite the Necronoids being taken down in seconds, SkeleGun
is undisturbed. He shifts both of his hands into machine guns.

Before he can fire upon the mysterious man in teal, the man forms a Gold Halo in his hands. Like a world class Olympian, he throws the Halo at SkeleGun, severing both of his hands.

"This is not over Horse Power!!!"

The familiar black door of light takes SkeleGun and the Necronoids
away.

Sergent Sargent offers his hand to the figure in Teal.

"You pulled our fat out of the fire. We appreciate it....."

The stranger walks past Sarge to greet the media covering the battle.

"You have no more to fear from evil. Not so long as the Soldier of Light shines
upon you."

The Horse Power team have gathered around Sergent Sargent. The hinges on
their helmets open, revealing their bewildered faces.


****

Thunder Thief sits in his recliner looking very amused. He has just
finished his lobster dinner.

"Why do you look so happy?"

"Sarge I have plenty of reasons to be happy. I live in relative luxury. This
regulator belt your Science Bulbs created turned off my powers. So even if
I'm a Regular Joe, I'm not living in agony. Plus tonight I got to see
you and Horse Power clowned by that Soldier of Light goon. Life can be pretty sweet sometimes."

"Don't forget the only reason you are in this one bunk Marriott, is because
you have inside knowledge about this "Professor Necro". Got any idea why he had SkeleGun and the Necronoids attack the downtown area?"

"Not a clue, from what Ol'Rumpelstiltskin told me, the only thing he cares about is getting his "Oblivorex"  back. Would not make sense to attack City Hall. Maybe its a red herring or something."

Sergent Sargent looks very annoyed. He did not want to cut this deal
with Thunder Thief.

After he was arrested during that business with the Heterocera, Horse
Power learned Thunder Thief had been in contact with the mysterious villain who
was responsible for the Necronoids, Greasetrap, Braionic and Thunder
Thief's power upgrade.

Thunder Thief is not stupid. He used this information to get put in a
cell that makes most penthouses look like shacks.

"What do you think Sarge?"

"I think you should shut up."

Sergent Sargent starts to walk out of the cell.

"Oh Sarge tell Laura I'm ready for my massage now."

Sarge fights the urge to punch Thunder Thief and leaves.

****

The Necromizone, a world that is both a universe, yet mere steps away from our
own.

Professor Necro looks out into the Ocean of Bleakness, when Skelegun appears.

"Sir I apologize for my failure."

"Oh dear SkeleGun, you have nothing to apologize for."

****
One Week Ago

It is One AM and Chuck Hicks walks the streets of Lawnvale Ohio. He has
been walking the streets for hours. He was kicked out of the Soda Stop
at 11 PM.

Now he walks the streets holding a crumpled pile of paper in his hands. He holds
his crumpled hopes and dreams. He remembers the scene at the TV Station.

"Chuck I like you. I really do. But Remmy and Friends is losing ratings every
week."

"But Mr.Sumpton, we serve a higher cause than just getting ratings. Besides with
this new character, I guarantee Remmy and Friends will get ratings."

"Chuck we do serve a higher cause. But we also have to keep the doors to the
station open. Besides I don't see how you wearing some cheap super hero costume
would get bigger numbers. Chuck I did not mean it to sound like that."

"but my comic pamphlets with him. They they were popular."

"Chuck we can't do it I'm sorry. Your last show is next Friday."

"FINE!!!!"

With that Chuck Hicks walked out of K-Pub and went on his milkshake bender.

One thing he notices no matter where he goes is Horse Power. They are all over
the city, posters on the street, TV reports, newspapers and magazine covers. Is it any wonder they are
not interested in his characters? With Horse Power around, who cares about things like real character and morality?

He sees the Burger Barn is still open. He walks in and sees a raucous
party. Well he supposes there is nothing wrong with a harmless celebration. It
appears to be non alcoholic after all. He walks up to the register.

"One Apple Pie milkshake please."

"Sure thing buddy. Here its on tha house."

"What is the occasion?"

"Oh you didn't hear? Horse Power took down that radioactive bear. What wuz it
called, oh yeah Grizzly Atoms. I tell ya buddy, shows real heroes still exist."

"horse power...horse power...."

"You alright pal?"

"horse power.....horse power......HORSE POWER!!!!!!"

Chuck tosses his half finished milkshake at the Horse Power Pinball game.
The Burger Barn clerk punches Chuck in the stomach and throws him out.

"I ain't callin da copz on accounta my bein in such a good mood. But don't come
back!!!"

Chuck lays on the curb wondering how things could possibly get worse when he
runs behind Burger Barn. The combination of too many milkshakes and being
punched in the gut is too much. As he heaves out a days worth of binging, a light
shines on him.

It is a soft feminine voice that instantly eases Chuck's stomach.

"Chuck Hicks you have been chosen."

He looks up, tears in his eyes.

"Chosen? Me?"

"Yes my child accept your gift."

Chuck Hicks opens his hands, as a Halo is presented to him.

"With this you can meet your potential and save the world."

The halo emits an energy that swirls around Chuck. Transforming him into a Teal
and Gold figure.

"Beware evil doers of this Soldier's Light."

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